I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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