we're making bets on your personal life
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
