Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
