bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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