Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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