i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
