She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
