capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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