doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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