Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
