Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
