Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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