Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
