im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
