thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
