just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
