Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
