So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
