i'm signing you up for texting rehab
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
