Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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