Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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