He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just cut my nipple shaving
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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