I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
