Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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