dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I didn't shave. On purpose
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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