I want to stick my p in your. b.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
