Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
