JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
