What did we do last night that was yellow?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
