Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
