2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
