on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
