You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
