i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
