dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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