escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
