Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
