After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
