Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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