That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
