i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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