I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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