a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Alive.
So much puke
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
