I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
