hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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