New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
