I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
