We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
