drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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