Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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