We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
