I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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