Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
