we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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