he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
