im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
