Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
