The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
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HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
