She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
