it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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